Broken
by kettleoat
Summary: As he lies dying on the battlefield, Levi dreams.


'Captain Levi?'

She was standing at the edge of the forest, her light hair fluttering around her face in the gentle breeze. There was a small smile on her face as she reached out her hand, silently encouraging him closer.

Levi's throat was hoarse as he took a step forward, noticing with vague surprise that his leg no longer pained him. Glancing down at his hands, he noticed that all the burns and scars from years of fighting the Titans had disappeared, leaving clear, unblemished skin.

'P-Petra?' he managed. He could still hardly believe it was her. He had seen her death: seen her broken body twisted at the base of the tree where she had been smashed.

'This way, Captain.'

She turned away slightly, her hand still outstretched, and began walking into the shade of the trees.

'W-wait!' Levi called. He took another shaky step and stumbled, reaching out to her.

_'Captain? Captain Levi!'_

Petra had paused before the first tree. Levi noticed with a jolt that she was not alone. There were others grouped around her, their hands stretched towards him, smiles of welcome on their faces.

'Hey, Captain!' Eld called. 'Finally decided to join us, sir?'

'We thought you'd never turn up!' Oluo said, leaning against a tree with a confident grin on his face.

Gunther smiled. 'We didn't think you'd be here for a while, Captain Levi.'

_'Open your eyes, Captain! Please open your eyes! I can't -'_

Levi took another step forwards. The grass was green and springy beneath his feet, dew glistening in shimmering orbs on the ends of each stem.

'I have to fight,' he found himself saying. 'I have to go back. I can't stay here.'

'You don't have to fight any more, Captain,' Petra said, her face filled with a strange sympathy. 'You can rest now.'

_'There's so much blood! I can't stop the bleeding!'_

'I can't rest. I have to fight.'

'You've played your part, sir,' Gunther said. 'It's someone else's turn to be humanity's strongest.'

Levi's legs seemed to be carrying him forward of their own accord. The trees were drawing nearer, their extended branches casting long, rippling shadows on the grass.

'That's it, Captain. Come this way,' Petra said encouragingly. She was backing slowly into the darkness of the trees, the smile still on her face. She looked so gentle; so kind. It was how she had always looked, even when he found himself staring down at a bloodstained corpse and it was his fault, all his fault, because he had led them into the clutches of the Titans where they were torn apart and cast aside like broken playthings. It would be at that moment, as he suddenly found his breathing restricted and his hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides, that he would feel a warm hand on his arm, and he would turn to see her watching him with those kind, kind eyes.

_'Help me! SOMEBODY HELP ME! HE WON'T OPEN HIS EYES!'_

'I'm sorry,' he said.

She looked at him, and the warmth and sympathy in her face made the guilt swell painfully in his chest. 'You don't have anything to be sorry for, Captain.'

'It was my fault,' Levi said. 'It was my fault you died. I could have saved you, but I did nothing.'

'No, Captain!' Eld said vehemently. 'It wasn't your fault!'

_'Oh God, please open your eyes, Captain, please, don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be -'_

'It was,' Levi said loudly, and the scene seemed to ripple before his eyes. 'I could have done something. If I had stopped the Female Titan sooner -'

'Stop blaming yourself, sir!' Gunther said fiercely. 'There was nothing you could have done!'

'Nothing,' Petra said softly.

Levi dropped his head and stared at the ground, his eyes burning. He could not look at them. He could not stand to hear them protect him; to hear their words of comfort that did nothing but increase the guilt that was searing his throat.

_'Eren, what -'_

_'He's not breathing! He won't open his eyes! Captain, wake up, wake UP!'_

Another step. The grass whispered beneath his feet as he moved slowly towards the rest of his squad - towards the people he had spent all his time over the past few months with. They were the best: the best of the best. Excluding him, he doubted he could find anyone better than the Special Operation Squad within the Walls.

'I never noticed,' he said, directing his gaze at Petra. 'I never realised that what you felt about me was...anything more than Captain and recruit.'

For once, Petra seemed lost for words. Her eyes were over-bright as she watched him draw nearer, battling with the force that was pulling him back.

_'There's nothing you can do, Eren.'_

_'NO! I'm not leaving him here! Captain! CAPTAIN!'_

'Why?' Levi said suddenly, and the scene rippled again. 'Why am I here?'

The sympathy on Petra's face was suddenly reflected on those of the others grouped around her. Then Eld spoke.

'You...you died, Captain.'

Something was roaring in Levi's ears as he stared at them: at their kind faces and extended hands and soft words. He couldn't be dead. Not yet.

'No,' he said, and his voice was harsh and clear. The same flicker passed across his vision, and for a brief moment he thought he saw a glimpse of a clear, blue sky and a frantic face looking down at him.

_'I can't stop the blood! I can't stop it! Help me! HELP ME!'_

_'Come on, Eren, you can't -'_

_'I CAN STILL SAVE HIM!'_

'No,' Levi said louder, and now the view of the forest and his squad clustered beneath the trees was blurry, as though he was viewing it through misted glass.

_'Wake up, Captain!'_

'No!' he shouted.

_'LEVI!'_

He opened his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath, and suddenly all he could hear were screams and shouts and a voice saying 'Oh my God, you're alive, keep your eyes open, Captain, that's it, you've got to keep your eyes open,' and someone was cradling his head and smoothing back his hair and he realised with a jolt that the front of his shirt was soaked with blood and that his chest was alight with a searing agony that dragged the breath from his lungs. He turned his head to the side and clutched something with all his strength, gritting his teeth as waves of pain rolled over him.

'That's it, Captain, just breathe, you're alright now, keep your eyes open -'

'Levi! Is he alright? What happened?'

This was a new voice, one that he knew well, yet he could not yet place it from beneath the sickening pain.

'I'm so sorry, Commander, it was my fault, he saved me but - but -'

'It's alright, Eren. It wasn't your fault. Levi? Can you hear me?'

Levi sucked in another breath, fighting the agony that threatened to overwhelm him. With the last of his strength, he gasped: 'Petra.'

There was a silence. Levi suddenly realised that the thing he was clutching onto like a lifeline was Eren's hand, and that his own was shaking, drenched with blood.

'I saw - Petra,' he managed.

'Petra - Petra's dead, Levi.' He recognised the voice now: Erwin.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

The world blurred suddenly, and a single tear slid down his cheek.

They lifted him onto one of the carts, setting him down away from the rest of the wounded. People came to see him: Hange and Ackerman and a few others, but he did not acknowledge them. He could not even muster the energy to raise his head, and instead lay silently, staring at the planks opposite without blinking. He was tired - so, so tired - but he knew that if he slept, he would return to the forest, and this time he would not be able to come back.

He knew that they would still be there, though. Eld, Oluo, Gunther, Petra and all the others that had died under his command. He would see them again.

They were waiting for him.


End file.
